My TrekDick Is None of Your Business

I’m going to do something I almost never do. I’m going to talk about Star Trek on the internet.

I love Star Trek. If I could afford to get a tattoo of Captain Janeway riding a photon torpedo a la Major Kong in Dr. Strangelove, I would have it all across my back and feel no regrets. But I don’t talk about it on the internet.

Weird shit happens when you talk about Star Trek on the internet. Everyone treats the damn thing like a dick measuring contest. They whip it out like a Horga’hn statue and expect you to ooh and ahhhh over its wonders. A shaft, two moons circle.

And it’s not like I can’t compete in that dick measuring contest; I can, and I think I’d hold my own. Particularly if the conversation wound its way to DS9, the series that was just one “Tragic Death of Miles and Keiko O’Brien in Episode 2” away from perfection.

I just feel I shouldn’t have to.

Quite frankly, my TrekDick is none of your business. I shouldn’t have to know the name of Christopher Pike’s horse so you’ll listen to my rant about why Keiko is literally the worst character in Star Trek. And you shouldn’t have to be interrogated about the origins of the Romulan alphabet to tell me you think it was Sela.

shit, you might have a point, the worst character in star trek is probably sela.

Look, if you think Bajor is in the Gamma Quadrant, you can still have an opinion on Kira Nerys. You don’t have to be Memory Alpha to think B’Elanna Torres is problematic and you’d love to see a Latina without an anger problem in Voyager.

Everyone gets to have an opinion, even filthy casuals.

That said, check out how big my TrekDick is. The horse’s name was Tango.